The Grub Street Grackle Poetry Stimulus
Congress isn’t going to do it.
Nancy Pelosi has dug in her heels and won’t pass a poetry stimulus bill that doesn’t include 100,000 lines of epic verse. Mitch McConnell steadfastly declines even to call a vote on this vital issue. Meanwhile AOC and Ted Cruz are just fighting ad nauseam on Twitter about whether or not a defective foot in the first line of a sonnet is permissible. (Cruz claims AOC doesn’t even know what a “foot” is because she wants to subject red-blooded Americans to the metric system.)
That leaves it up to the unacknowledged legislators of the world (that’s us) to do it ourselves. We must take up the burden of ensuring that no American, nay, no citizen of this world of ours must go through these days when time seems meaningless without a steady supply of magnificent, lyrical, superabundantly meaningful poetry.
In satisfaction of our duty, we shall deliver to you, our readers, every Saturday morning on our website, one new and stunningly good poem for your delectation and edification.
However, there is a proviso, to ensure that access to this vital material is truly universal: by reading and appreciating this poem, you agree to become an agent in our content delivery system, and are contractually obligated to share this poem with your friends and neighbors. (If you read but do not appreciate the poem, we warmly invite you never to talk to me or my son ever again.)
You will be provided with all necessary instructions for making a contactless delivery.
See you on Saturday!