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Nowhere, USA


by Grubby


Right now, in every town or city in the country, the same thing is happening: some kid who has recently learned that he is supposed to feel limited by his environment is trying to think of a way to twist the name of his town into a clever variant of “Nowheresville.” You used to get this in small towns, but now it’s everywhere. Probably in New York itself there is a 12-year-old boy trying to outgrow the awesome Star Wars bed set he is sleepily ensconced in, thinking “No-You-Can’t … Nowhere-k … New Yuck.”

If only it would occur to him to say, “Nigh Ork,” I believe all his troubles would be over.