by Grubby

What you are about to read is a non-poem made out of the most unpoetical substance in the world: office jargon. It is composed entirely of fragments of phraseology heard in actual offices today. The only thing missing is the pronouncements of your own colleagues and superiors. Leave a comment with phrases you hear at the office today, and we’ll incorporate them.

Move forward, resources! Utilize
mandated features. Move our mission forward,
both on the same page as far as timewise.
Utilize ideation, tentatively exploring
a co-venture. It’s important to make sure
we’re trying to match all this energetically
until optimal utilization is achieved.
Utilize value-added services.

Sources:

both on the same page as far as timewise

— Joseph Prever (@stevegershom) November 20, 2014

@GrackleRag anything about “our mission.”

— Sarah M (@SarahIsTired) November 20, 2014

@GrackleRag “It’s important to make sure we’re trying to match all this energetically until optimal utilisation is achieved.”

— Samuel Dodson (@InstantIdealism) November 20, 2014

@GrackleRag Utilize. Utilize, utilize, utilize. Value-added services. Mandated feature.

— Elizabeth Herreid (@eliz_herreid) November 20, 2014

@GrackleRag Tentatively exploring a co-venture.

— Elizabeth Herreid (@eliz_herreid) November 20, 2014